Money and Fresh Fish

Google search 'Naira Exchange Rate' 

Adjusting to the exchange rate has been a big challenge for me. The largest Naira note is 1,000N and this is equal to $6.36 USD.  Lagos is one of the most expensive cities in the world if you want to live comfortably. And by comfortably, I mean US standards of comfort (air conditioning, security, potable water, quality food). It's safe to assume that the cost of goods here is about 3x as much as they would cost in the US. I haven't bought much at the store other than snacks, but a (luxurious) box of Nature's Valley granola bars was 1500N or $9.54. A can of Pringles was 480N or $3.05 USD. A 6-pack of small raisin boxes was 800N or $5.09. Outrageous! But you have to keep in mind that these goods came a long way to get to Lagos, and are items that only desperate-for-home Americans will be buying, so they can pretty much charge as much as they want.

Nigeria is cash-only. So when I go to the grocery store, I need to have a fat stack of cash to buy only a few items. The check-out drawers are just filled with cash! Imagine how much money we're going to need to buy appliances and furniture! I can't even imagine. And if you were going to buy a car here - there's no way to finance something safely when you're dealing with cash. So you have to pay up front! I wonder how people can possibly afford the cars I see on the road here. There must be a system in place that I don't know about.

Nice, new Naira

So above is all the money they use here. No coins. Although I have now seen coins, but they are useless and really not used. So the smallest note, 5N equals 10 cents and you can't buy anything with it. No one even wants it, the only way to get rid of it is to hope that your total at the store includes that amount. Sometimes at the store if they owe us small bills they just give us cough drops instead, since those are actually useful. Crazy. And the money is absolutely filthy. Think of the filthiest dollar you've ever seen, then add a few layers of sewage, dirt, sweat, and other miscellaneous grime and that's what some of the notes look like here. So we keep the antibacterial gel nearby at all times.

We are able to exchange money at the hotel's front desk, but they often claim to have no cash and tell us to come back later (and repeat 3-4 times until you get lucky). We did this little song and dance for a few weeks before realizing that they just wanted us to go down to the souvenir store (??) at the edge of the property to exchange our money. We seldom see anyone down there buying any souvenirs, but there are always lots of vendors supervising the overpriced goods. Ryan has a theory that they are solely there for the purpose of exchanging dollars to Naira, since they do make a small profit off of us. So for $100 we usually get around 15,000N, anything less than that and you are getting ripped off. If they won't give you that rate,  just go try with the next guy eagerly waiting, and repeat until you get at least that deal. We've heard all sorts of excuses for worse rates too, like this $100 was printed after 1996 and we can't accept it, or it's a holiday so I have to give you less. One of our friend's who has been here for over 10 years says that 15,000N for $100 is still a ripoff, but we're really only losing like $5 and it isn't really worth the hassle. So we're okay with it for now since we're still "fresh fish". Sometimes it's easier to just let it go and hope that the little bit extra is providing food and clean water for a family for a week.

"Fresh fish" is the term for Lagos newbs like ourselves. Apparently, everyone can tell that we just arrived by the stunned look on our faces during traffic, the way we count money, and our general lack of assimilation. We are trying to incorporate local phrases into our vocabulary such as the following:

• Small-Small: any small bill under 500N
• Fast-Fast: go quick now!
• Go Slow: traffic jam
• Yellow Fever: traffic cop (they wear a yellow shirt)
• Sorry-o: just means sorry
• Dash: to tip or bribe with money
• How was your night?: How are you doing?
• Kobo: pennies or something/someone cheap
• Big Wahalla: big problem
• No Wahalla: no problem
• Oga: big man/boss/chief
• 419: a scam of any sort
• MoPo: mobile policeman - he can be in your car or in the car escorting and providing security for you